Yes, I think Liz's rape is worse than yours. Maybe your next rape will be to let her or someone else that I loathe to get away with their rape. Maybe you want to keep wishing and intentionally want me to think your rape is worse so you can enjoy yourself more when I say I prefer to be raped by whatever woman you would like to fantasize me with.
Women in the military. I actually applied one time for the sake of having a time period of not being able to handle the reality of my student loans. I have had times where I've called myself a soldier and had times where I don't think I'm soldier material at all. Do I really want to be in the military? no. On the days where I can't handle the way life is and wish I could beat anyone; I wish I was the creme of the crop female 007. As for guys and their treatment on women in the military? It really isn't a political thought I have really thought a lot about. I've already said I'm not into politics right now, but maybe one of your wants are my 2 cents in the conversation. hmph. It really depends on a lot of things. If a woman knows that she knows the entire job description and not just forces herself to go through with it,... but lives and dies for it,... if that is what she really wanted to live for; than live for it. I don't think the gender factor should be ignored or denied as possible issues or reasons. I think some men could desensitize themselves to a woman to a certain extent. I don't know if there are different expectations or demands.
How it would relate personally to you and I? I know I have called myself a soldier, and I think I mentioned in an earlier blog that Birtha has left the building and put her weights down. I was talking to other predators at the time, but one of the predators can include you. You are more physically and violently superior. I don't want you to see me as a soldier and I don't want you to desensitize yourself to me. I don't want to be at war with you, and if I could have any wishes for myself, I wish you would go back to being light and easy again and even gentle.
You must be mad for some reason. You're mad that I don't have a hooker heart that will be the perfect actress with you? You're mad that I watched Black Swan yesterday and think that I could be hitting on Angelina in the matrix by watching the movie? You already cried to say that you feel like a punching bag too and don't want me to hate you? I already said I don't know how to not breathe. I could have some idea of how I hurt your feelings, but I really don't know all of the exact things that I do that hurts your feelings. I don't want to be at war with you either. It seems to me like you are holding me to wait to be your punching bag, although I already felt like I was your punching bag last night.
The last thing is the toughest thing to guess at. This is about your guest speaker, Gervais.
My first assumption would be that you want to hurt me so much that you don't even know how to make sense out of it yourself. You want to hurt me to say in an insinuative way: It is ok for my dad to be how he has been with me. It is ok for him to be that way.
If there is no father connection; I'm not 100% sure if you guys are sincerely being bisexual together and you may want me to wonder. You also possibly want me to be jealous because you guys make jokes about animals and conversation and are light with him. While wanting to remind me of how you have been with me: You act that way to say you are serious in demonizing me over having touched a dog's parts when I was younger and that it really is a crisis and probably what caused the bombing/plane crash of the world trade center. On top of that is further obsessive abuse that the reason for my insecurities has always been that I feel like such a bestial sinner and freak and should be treated as a freak. I know I am mocking your and other predator's arrogance in this instance. Personally, I don't like the idea of you or other arrogant predators having a chance in any domination game. It has been old, and I think I would be better off remaining an iso over the issue with how savage some people have gotten and the credit they give themselves.
I think other parts of this conversation could have been iso as well, but there are times where I simply do not know how to not breathe.
Other guesses at Gervais, I really don't know what you are expecting of me. This would be an instance where you really are trying everything you can to be manipulative and wish that I wished I would be raped by someone else because you want to have the most repulsive rape.
I already said that I wish you weren't fighting right now. I'm not going to try to go to war with you. I'm going to just have to evaporate back into my genie bottle and wait things out and comfort myself in my own isolated bottle lounge. I'm also going to be doing some yoga today. If you really want to be sexually satisfied I'm not sure how you could expect me right now. I'm also not ignoring the other hint where your sick stalkishness wanted to terrorize me more and make me feel insecure for saying a comment outloud about "moodkill." Not sure what you're trying to get at with Gervais and don't understand why you would have such a sick and severe level of hate against me.
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