??????????

Kelly, personally, I thought most of your show had been a little more light-hearted today except for the ending. If Rob sees me as his child, I'm anorexic to that too. I feel I have been given some kind of hint with some people and what is going on through their minds or their stories. While I do feel some relief that I have some support in being up against Maggie and that she is being exploited as the control freak and how she is wrong, why should any more of my time be wasted? In so many ways, I'm just tired that even when I am the one who has the heads up and not the tails, everything about my life is turned into entertainment. My financial crisis has not been resolved. My work place environments may have a change, but she is just one enemy among so many enemys. It isn't just her, but the entire system that I constantly get damned by.
The end of the show Kelly, the end. Sometimes, it is difficult for me especially in this instance to have a more clear mind. This is too dark for me. It is hard to work through naivety and hold responsibility somewhere. The Randy character does not look like anyone I know. While you may not be responsible for however I am being tested, somebody is. I think it is sick, grotesque, inhumane, absurd, and from an insanely jealous and hateful mind to test someone like that. I don't care if it is from the real military, I look at it as another example to support my view with "Lord of the Flies." Nothing is proved. I already said yesterday that I know I'm not going to win the "tough man contest," so why do some people still continue to bicker over it? I think whoever is doing this is being very psycho, sick, and hateful. If our real military does this, I think it is really sad that our nation is that inhumane. I think it is sad that some people don't know how to control their emotions or whatever hates they have. Nothing is proved but Lord of the Flies. If the military is already going beyond disappointing me, I really don't know where to go to for help. With amnesty, I'm not sure I can even trust them anymore with some associations and the fact that nothing has been resolved. I don't even know how to use it as evidence. This is another example where I would want to do something about it and/or take it to court or even kill over but with how impossible it is to describe the evidence, my life feels helplessly impossible. I shouldn't have to go to jail to defend myself if I were to deservedly murder someone for it.....................
........................................................................................................................